The Love Potion Gone Wrong
by KittyAngel StarFig
Summary: Ron whips up a love potion for a special girl, but things don't go as he planned. Of course, Nagini is involved, along with ham sandwiches. R/R


A/N: This was written off of no inspiration whatsoever, we just made it up as we went along. But we like it so far, so we decided to post it… enjoy!  --K.A. & S.F.

Nagini slithered quietly through the forest. Her beady little eyes were squinted in an evil glare. She was searching for something. Or rather… someone. Nagini finally saw a splinter of light through the dense trees, and she knew she had reached the edge of the forest. As the tip of her tail whipped around the last ancient pine, Nagini let out a hiss of triumph. Towering before her stood the castle of Hogwarts.

Suddenly… Ron leaped from a tree and landed squarely on Nagini's head. If snakes could squeal, well, let's just say it wouldn't be pretty. _This is just what I need for my love potion_, thought Ron,_ 3 drops of snake venom_. As he picked up the slightly frazzled Nagini, Ron whipped out a small vial.

Ten minutes later, Nagini lay in the bottom of Ron's trunk feeling very depressed. Ron, however, was gleefully stirring the simmering cauldron next to his bed.  It had taken him weeks, but he had finally collected all the ingredients for a love potion.  According to the potion book he had stolen it out of, it should be ready by dinnertime.  Now all he had to add was a bit of himself, so that the drinker of the potion would become smitten with him. Dramatically, he plucked a hair from his head and dropped it into the potion, which turned a fiery red, matching his hair.

As Ron tended to his potion, Nagini sulked in his trunk. She perked up a bit when she heard footsteps and then a familiar voice…

"Hey, Ron,"

"Oh, hello Harry"

"Dare I ask what you're doing?"

"Er, well, I'm practicing for Potions…"

"Sure you are," Nagini then heard a thump above her as Harry sat on the trunk.

"Let's see, I don't remember what's next… I'd better ask Hermione—" Ron lied as he gathered up his cauldron and ingredients. Nagini heard his footsteps as he walked down the stairs.

"Hmm," thought Harry aloud, "I wonder what he's up to… he probably hid the potion instructions somewhere in here…"

Light filled Nagini's eyes as the lid of the trunk was pulled open. A scream filled the room as Harry saw its contents. Nagini, realizing her chance to escape, sprung from the trunk (A/N: can snakes spring??). Harry, being very foolish in his state of surprise, gripped Nagini around the neck.

"You, Snake, you look familiar…" said Harry as he squeezed Nagini's neck. "Who are you?"

Nagini made a few feeble wheezing noises until Harry loosened his grip. "Ah, yes Harry, so you do remember me! I am Nagini, the almighty snake of… well, not anymore, but I _was_ the almighty snake of Lord Voldemort!"

Appalled, Harry threw her onto Ron's bed and whipped out his wand. Before Nagini could duck, ropes emitted from his wand and tightly strapped Nagini to the bed.

"No! Wait! Don't hurt me! Didn't you hear what I said?? I said I _was_ the snake of Voldemort! WAS! That's past tense, not present! I quit you hear! QUIT!"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "You're awfully paranoid, aren't you?"

"Ah, well, I've been through a lot…"

"Mm-hm, yeah, so, you're not on a mission to kill me?"

"Well, technically I am, but I've decided to mend my ways. I want to see Dumbledore and join his forces against Voldemort!"

"You lie, snake!" Harry whispered, "I'm not stupid enough to believe your pitiful stories! I'll take you to Dumbledore, all right, but don't count on joining his forces!"

Nagini, remembering Ron's potion and Harry's curiosity, decided to change the subject before things became nasty. "So, Harry, you know that potion Ron was mixing up?"

"Yeah," responded Harry skeptically.

"Want to know what it is?"

*~*~*~*~*

Ron, clutching a goblet of potion under his robes, made his way across the great hall, searching for her.  Then, he spotted her, casually eating a ham sandwich.  How innocent she looked, sitting with Ron's brother's at the Gryffindor table.  Quickening his pace, he approached the table and sat down next to her casually.  Checking to make sure nobody was looking, he nonchalantly set the goblet beside her plate, and began to eat a ham sandwich.

"Hello, Ron.  Where have you been?" she said, noticing his presence.

"Just doing homework," he muttered, and Hermione grinned smugly to herself.   Finally, her persistent pestering had paid off.  Ron looked away, embarrassed, and saw Neville sit down next to him.  

As Ron's back was turned, talking to Neville, an evil plan formed in Fred Weasley's mind.  He had seen Ron pull the goblet out of his robes, and give it to Hermione.  Judging by the circumstances, and what he had read in Ron's diary last summer, he had a pretty good idea of what that potion was. Checking to make sure nobody was looking, Fred snatched the goblet of potion and hesitated.  _Now who should my victim be?_ He wondered.  Ron looked back to his plate, and panicking, Fred set down the goblet across from him, which just happened to be where Ron was sitting.  Fred looked down at his ham sandwich, trying to look casual.

Ron, eyeing what he thought was Hermione's goblet full of potion, saw that it was nearly empty.  Overjoyed with himself, he took a swig of pumpkin juice from his own goblet.  _Uh oh,_ he thought, _this doesn't taste like pumpkin juice…_

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Of course I want to know what the potion is," Harry said, forgetting Nagini's status as an enemy.

"Well, Harry," Nagini said slyly, "I'll make you a deal.  I'll tell you what that potion was, and you take me to Dumbledore.  But you have to promise not to tell him who I am—or was, rather."

"Sure," Harry said, feeling no need to follow up on his portion of the deal.

"Okay, then. You see, Ron is a very lovesick boy. He had been working on a love potion to make this girl…"

"Hermione?"

"Yes, yes, whatever. He wants her to fall in love with him—Ah, reminds me of me when I was young. I was quite smitten with this cobra—very manly. He was…"

Harry was now sprawled on the floor, laughing insanely at the tidbits Nagini had shared with him.  Nagini frowned and once again decided to change the subject.

"Now, take me to the headmaster!"

"Later! I have to find Ron and Hermione! I've gotta see this!" And Harry was gone, leaving Nagini helplessly tied to Ron's bed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey Hermione," said Ron frantically. "Do you have a mirror?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, pulling a small mirror out of her robes. Ron snatched it away and gazed at his reflection lovingly, and then started kissing the mirror passionately. Hermione stared in disgust. 

Across the table, Fred bust out into hysteric fits of laughter as did the rest of the Gryfinndor table.

At that moment, Harry burst into the Great Hall. As he scanned the table for a lovesick Hermione, his eyes fell upon Ron. He was staring dumbfounded, wondering whether to laugh or gag, when Draco Malfoy approached him.

"So, Potter," he said calmly, "Look's like your friend's got a bit of a problem."

Still dumbstruck, Harry nodded, "For once, Malfoy, I agree with you."

At the Gryfinndor table, Ron finished his make-out session and handed the mirror back to Hermione. She recoiled and said, "No, Ron, that's okay, you can keep it…"

"Really? In that case…"

Fred quickly intervened, "No, on second thought, I'll take it." He quickly snatched the mirror and threw it over his shoulder where it landed in the treacle pudding at the Ravenclaw table. Ignoring the shouts of surprise, Fred went back to his ham sandwich, chuckling slightly.

Glancing sideways at Ron, Hermione quickly got up and left the Great Hall, grabbing Harry's wrist on the way out.

"What happened Hermione?"

"I dunno, he just asked me for a mirror and then… well, you know," Hermione said dragging him along down a corridor.

"Hermione, where are we going? The library?"

"Of course!"


End file.
